Garrus: (deadpan) Figuring out which side took the rocket. Hey, what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face? Garrus: So that their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills. Joker: Okay, why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease? I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven. you're shittin' me! The turian military has one about me? Garrus: He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon.
How do you know when a turian is out of ammo? 600 to vote on it, one to ask the asari for technical help and one to request a seat on the Council afterwards. Garrus: How many humans does it take to activate a dormant mass relay? Joker: Well, you gotta respect the classics! Garrus: Friendly fire - come on, that one goes back to Shanxi! What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster?
What's the first order an Alliance commander gives at the start of combat?